Ben Lemery | Church & Culture

Living in the Now While Looking Ahead

About three years ago, I knew that I was moving to California.  A year later, I moved. 

For an entire year, I was looking ahead to what was going to happen.  I built my dreams, my visions and my hopes on everything good happening when I got out here.  In the meantime, the present day life somewhat slipped.  The projects and activities that would help others build to the future didn't really matter to me because....I wasn't going to be there in a year to see the results of my work, so why do it with the full gusto?

I did the work, I got it done but it certainly lacked the passion that I would put into past work. 

In fact, the only thing I did put major passion into were the things that would benefit me in the future.

I find myself in the same predicament now as I feel God stirring my heart for the future but this time it has a big banner along the road with two words:

FINISH WELL

How you finish in the present determines how well you will operate in the future. 

So now I have to make a choice.  How will I finish well before the next step of the journey takes place?

Have you been in this position before?  How did you finish?  Would you have done something different? Same? 

Long-Term Visions Require Long-Term Patience

One good thing about being in a wilderness season is that you cannot rush into visionary projects.  My mind is always playing chess, strategizing and laying out ways to reach the people intended for each project.  My notebook is full of musings and writings over two years.  I even tried to get some of the things going but none of them came to fruition. 

 
When God tells you to enter into a season of rest, He will do it one way or another.  Sometimes, it simply takes two years for you to get the hint. 

Visions somehow ferment like wine though, the longer they sit and develop, the stronger the flavor and more pure the taste when the bottle is finally opened.

Have you gotten frustrated by your timing not being the same as God's?  Do you sometimes feel like He has forgotten you because others are doing the bigger things? 

Please pray for me as these things continually churn in my heart, that they would develop to be in His will and not mine.  What visions do you have for your life? 

A Personal Update: March 2010

Today I had a doctor's appointment for a 6 month checkup and to see what was wrong with my hip. 

If I could easily explain the season God has had me in for the past two full years, it would be probably laid out as such:

Year 1: Ben dislikes God
Year 2: Ben and God look at each other but not much is said
Year 3: Ben begins to embrace the season God has him in

Last year, I felt like the Lord wanted me to pursue and finish specific things.  One area was my health.

When I went to the doctor for my physical I weighed 311 pounds.  I was a 33 on the BMI scale, bordering on morbid obesity.  Clearly, some changes had to be made.  Finally, in October, I began to make some changes in my life to do this.

I joined a fitness center and started working with a personal trainer.  She has been great, a tyrant but great. 

Another blessing came into my life when I was at a work function in Denver.  Dave Grotto was participating in our work function and after chatting with me offered to mentor me in developing a good nutritional lifestyle.  Every week he goes over what I ate, encourages me where I can do better and laughs at my jokes.  Dave has written two great books that I would encourage each and everyone of you to buy:

101 Foods That Could Save Your Life
101 Optimal Life Foods

Dave has the ability to lay out food in simple ways and explain why it is good for you.  He isn't some hippie, all organic nutritionist that is full of fad diets.  As he told me when we met, he is a "foodie first, a nutritionist second."  If you have some extra money, get one or both of the books.  Both have great information AND recipes that taste great.  Check out his blog when you get a chance.

I say all of this to state that my doctor was very happy with me today.  After a starting weight of 311 pounds, I now weigh 269 pounds.  A total of 42 pounds.  This is a huge shift in my life and a huge change in how my pants fit.

So there you go, hopefully it can show that anyone can do this, it simply is about making a choice.  Thanks to everyone who has supported me and keeps on pushing me for the goal.

Oh and my hip has bursitis, which my doctor says is a good injury to have because it means I am working out.  No pain, no gain eh?

My Wrong Marathon

I should be a hundred pounds lighter at the rate I have ran in the last two years.  Last week marked two years since I moved to California.  I still remember what my friends looked like as my car was getting pulled down the road through the snow drifts so I could finally get on my way.  I remember the feeling of finally being able to be someone and that I was going to make my mark in the world. 

Two years later.

I just want out!  I am tired of me, myself and I.  Tired of where I am not at.  Tired of the same old struggles.  Doubtful of the call of God on my life. 

I am definitely not going to run back to Him because that would be a sign of Him being right. 

Admitting that would mean He did need to put me in the wilderness and work on my heart.  That I did need to be brought to a foreign place, where nothing seems familiar and where I would have few friendships or people to talk to.  That in the end, this was more about me and Him than me and everyone else.  

We put a lot of energy into running the wrong races in life.  We think that we are accomplishing something when in the end, we accomplish nothing. 

A friend told me that until you embrace the reasons God put you in the place you are at, you will never be released into the next season of your life.  Even in the difficult place, He is working things in you and teaching you so that you can deal with future situations.

These are easy things for me to tell you and encourage YOU what to do but me, haha, oh well I already know it so why would I have to learn such things.

See the lies I tell myself!

So there are moments in our lives when we realize that our arms are embraced around ourselves and the only way to find total freedom is to open our arms wide and embrace the cross.  Out of the greatest eternal struggle ever to happen on earth, that is the only place we can truly understand the freedom we gain from a total embrace of giving everything to God.

So there is where I am at.

Do you find yourself running away from God sometimes?  What happens when you recognize you are?  Is it difficult to embrace the cross after running for so long?

Happy 1st Birthday Blog!

This blog is one year old today!  I was a little surprised that it has been a year but also thankful that I was able to continue something like this for so long.

In one year, I have posted 208 blog posts which is like a book on its own. 

My philosophy has been to not only share my own struggles with life but also to talk about cultural issues in the world and the church that many people would rather leave untouched and ignored. 

I am really thankful that this blog has given a voice to some of those issues and my hope is that the next year will expand the conversation so that we can continue to be real about the things that are affecting young adults not only in the church but in the world.

Here are the realities: PEOPLE HAVE QUESTIONS!

I am able to see what peoples' search terms are in Google when they find my blog.  My most viewed blogs are about the ones I did about revival, the IHOP Spiritual Awakening and some of the other well known people I have blogged about.  The interesting queries that come through are primarily about IHOP.  The search terms tend to be IHOP Awakening Fake or Is the IHOP Awakening Real? 

As much flack as I got from people about writing about the IHOP Awakening, I hope that I have been able to present those people with questions with something to think about so that they can come to their own terms regarding it. 

This year, I want to touch on more of the issues within the Charismatic church.  What I have realized in the many blogs that I follow is that there is a plethora of Evangelical, Emergent, liberal Christian blogs out there.  There are really few blogs touching on the issues of the Charismatic church.  I hope more come up. 

So here is to covering another year of culture in the world and in the church.  THANK YOU for reading, commenting and going on the journey. 

Ben